At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize