You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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