if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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