You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
