Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
