I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
