So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor