lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
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He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"