FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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