I wannas sexs uuuuu
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
