You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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