can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
