He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
