I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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