Me too!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
