I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
vagina is talking i cant
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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