their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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