ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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