i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
