4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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