If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
