she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
