I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
