I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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