Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
