i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
