i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize