3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
