You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
