We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
