The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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