Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
