Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
