New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
