Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize