Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
