I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
