Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize