How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
