I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
