Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
