Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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