Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
