I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
