how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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