i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
