haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
