Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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