just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have post one night stand depression
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