Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
