You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
