you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize