I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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