Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
