I must be too annoying 4 u.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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