She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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