anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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