I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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