I think I am morally bankrupt
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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