420 ftw
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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