we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
