white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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