Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
