as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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