She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
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i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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